Georgia Governor Declares Water a Gateway Drug That Leads to Voting
By Andy Borowitz
ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—Raising the ante in his ongoing battle with the aqueous substance, Georgia’s governor, Brian Kemp, has declared water “a gateway drug that leads to voting.”
“We’ve consulted a lot of studies on this,” he said. “People are much more likely to vote if they are under the influence of water.”
The governor said that he was considering a number of measures to address water addiction, including stiffer penalties for voting while quenching.
In his starkest warning, Kemp told those who traffic in the banned liquid, “We’re coming after you,” and promised prison time for anyone combining hydrogen and oxygen in illegal water labs.
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.