Can any history book be believed?
If—as someone once said—newspapers are the first edition of history, then every tome is becoming more and more suspect.
History is constantly revised by new “experts”, who give their own interpretation to events that happened years before they declared themselves to be smart and to know more about events in which they took no part. This is a corollary to being “right” due to having an opinion.
When smoking was still en vogue, smokers would place a package of cigarettes and a lighter on the table, when sitting down in a restaurant. Nowadays, many place a mobile device beside the plate, since smokers have been forced to stand outside the door.
Many families go out for dinner on a Saturday evening. In restaurants, children play a game on an electronic device; men watch a game.
White House Says It Is Unpatriotic to Offer Irrefutable Video Evidence That a General Lied
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a stirring defense of Donald Trump’s chief of staff, General John Kelly, the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said on Friday that it was “unpatriotic in the extreme” to offer irrefutable video proof that a four-star general lied.
“It is unpatriotic enough to accuse a four-star general of lying,” Sanders told the White House press corps. “But to make available a video that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that that general lied is unpatriotic bordering on treasonous.”
Warming to her subject, Sanders said that any American who sees undeniable video evidence that a general lied and chooses to believe the video “shows disrespect for our country and hatred for our flag.”
“General Kelly has served our country with courage and valor,” she said. “He has earned the right to lie without fear of being contradicted by the facts.”
Minutes after Sanders concluded her remarks, Kelly also received a vote of confidence from Trump, who called his chief of staff “a good liar, for a beginner.”
I have not heard for a long time the saying “getting there is half the fun”—obviously left over from advertising for ocean liners of old—probably because it is not true. Most travel is by airplane or car. Even first class travel is not all that great, because one cannot avoid the hassles of airports. Car travel always includes dealing with bad drivers, traffic, and boredom on long stretches.
This was evident yesterday, when I traveled from Frankfurt to Orlando. We were lucky to reach the airport on time, because soon afterwards the route we had just traveled became jammed with traffic. The usual indignities of getting from the entrance to the departure gate were just as aggravating as always. At the gate, we learned that the flight would be delayed by 30 minutes. This was not disturbing, because pilots normally make up the time on long haul flights. Unfortunately, departure ended up being two hours delayed. One of the great injustices—to my mind—is having to ride a bus from the terminal to an airplane. This is especially aggravating and time consumer if the aircraft is a 747 or 380, because that’s a lot of folks needing to be hauled.
Because the plane we were scheduled to use was broken, we had to be carried to a replacement parked on a ramp. Supposedly, it was easier to haul passengers than to tow the plane to the gate where we waited. At least, it was plane airline logic. This merely added insult to the injury of the delay. Adding this to a ten hour flight makes for a lot of sitting.
The flight was uneventful and boring, but I could read.
Arrival at Orlando was uneventful, until it was time to disembark. We could not, because the door was not opened. The genius operating the jetway needed ten minutes to get it properly aligned. Then, we heading into the bowels of international arrivals for the usual indignities awaiting us. To avoid prosecution, I will not comment on what transpired. Once we escaped, we had to rent a car. Because we were late, the car we had reserved had been given away. The choice was to accept a car we would not like or pay more for a better model. Being of a penny-wise-pound-foolish nature, we took the more-expensive choice.
Given jet lag and delayed flight, our bodies were well after midnight of a long day, but still had to drive for over an hour to the house we had rented.
The first obstacle was the toll booth at the entry to a toll road, which demand Epass of coins…and did not offer a toll collector. Not having coins and being faced with dilemma, we drove through the gate without paying. I am not a fugitive in Florida.
We finally made it to the house in the dark, but with a guilty conscience and a tired body.
And, I did not want to even make this trip….
Today, I am leaving home, but heading in the wrong direction. I would much rather be heading south (in a car) or east (in an airplane). Unfortunately, an unenthusiastic traveler is doing things one does to please the family, of which one is a captive.
We will be flying west to a land I no longer recognise or only recently discovered. Look forward to cynical observations and the occasional rant...
Obama Begins Calling American People to Console Them About Trump Being President
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Barack Obama has started calling every person in America to offer consolation about Donald Trump being President, Obama has confirmed.
“It’s something I meant to do right after the Inauguration,” Obama said, during a brief break from the phone calls. “I feel terrible that I didn’t get to it sooner.”
The former President said that, although the phone calls are a small gesture, he felt that he had to do whatever he could to extend his sympathy about Trump being President.
“There’s a lot of pain out there that a phone call from me can never fix,” he said. “Still, I want people to know that I care.”
Carol Foyler, who has been grieving since Trump was elected, last November, said that receiving a call from Obama on Monday “meant a lot.”
“The fact that he took the time to call me, when he had three hundred million more people left to call, is something I’ll never forget,” she said.
Politicians blame job losses on foreigners, which is only partly true. Consumers—their voters—are more to blame for companies reducing labor costs. Even though capitalists make decision to move production, they do so to increase profits. To increase profits, they must sell more products or cut spending. To compete in a free-market system, they must offer lowest prices. To offer lowest prices, they must place production in countries with the lowest labor costs, which does not include the United States or most European countries.
Consumers do not care about labor costs, unless this affects his or her job. They want cheap goods. Don’t believe me? Look at how Walmart killed retails outlets in the towns where they operate. I know from experience that consumers do not honour companies trying to save jobs, because I worked for a company that produced in Europe and tried to compete with companies that produced in Asia. In the end, to survive we had to close factories in Europe and move production to Asia.
People that lost jobs were surely partly to blame, because they thought differently when shopping.
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.