Most people believe that “fake news” is something new, a flaw in the age of social media.
There are countless examples from the past, if one studies history. One of the most blatant, which I am discovering through a deeper read on events leading up to, surrounding, and following the Battle of Little Bighorn. What most believe about this battle and the fool that led so many men to their deaths is false. An alternative narrative was planted by his wife and an army that did not want to face reality. Facts and eyewitness reports were denied or ignored in hope of covering up responsibility and embarrassment.
Trump Calls NPR the Worst TV Network in America
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After abruptly hanging up on one of its hosts, Donald J. Trump called NPR “the worst TV network in America.”
Trump said that the host, Steve Inskeep, was “a loser like you wouldn’t believe who never should have been given a television show. He’s one of the reasons nobody watches NPR.”
“I’ve worked with some of the greats,” Trump said. “Sean Hannity. Laura Ingraham. Tucker Carlson. This Inskeep joker doesn’t belong on TV.”
Trump claimed that “NPR’s TV ratings are horrible. They’re losing incredible amounts of money, O.K.? It wouldn’t surprise me if they started begging for donations.”
What is the difference between Republicans and Democrats?
Republicans do whatever the party tells them to do, no matter how evil or ridiculous. Democrats do whatever they want, no matter what damage it does to party solidarity.
That explains why the Democratic Party has no chance to succeed.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Fauci Defends Calling G.O.P. Senator a Moron: “I’m Just Following the Science”
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After being heard on a hot mike calling a Republican senator a moron, Dr. Anthony Fauci defended his decision by saying that he was “just following the science.”
The esteemed virologist said that, in calling Senator Roger Marshall, of Kansas, a moron, “I didn’t mean to offend. I was just trying to be accurate from a scientific standpoint.”
“As a scientist, I believe it’s important to use the correct nomenclature,” Fauci said. “You need to call a virus a virus, and a bacterium a bacterium. In this same way, I am confident that I was correct in calling Senator Marshall a moron.”
Fauci said that he does not use the word “moron” capriciously, but only after extensive scientific experimentation proves that it applies.
“Take Rand Paul, for example,” Fauci said. “I didn’t determine that he was a moron until after forty-five seconds of hearing him speak.”
How is one supposed to respect and/or believe in a government that has such loathsome and/or questioable characters sitting in Congress or on the Supreme Court? I recall being told in the Army to “respect the position, not the individual”. That is difficult, when faced with incompetence, dishonesty, and greed.
Americans Hope That Jim Jordan’s Refusal to Talk Becomes a Trend
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Rep. Jim Jordan’s announcement that he is refusing to talk to the January 6th committee has sparked celebrations across the nation, as Americans express hope that the congressman’s abstention from talking becomes a sustainable trend.
In interviews from coast to coast, Americans agreed with Carol Foyler, a realtor in Missoula, Montana, who said that Jordan’s refusal to talk “seemed almost too good to be true.”
“Really, the year is off to a terrible start, with Omicron spreading like crazy and whatnot,” she said. “When I saw the thing about Jim Jordan not talking, I was, like, ‘Finally, some good news for a change.’ ”
Harland Dorrinson, an insurance adjuster in Akron, Ohio, agreed that it would be “amazing if Jim Jordan stopped talking,” but also sounded a note of caution.
“I worry a little that this is a New Year’s resolution, like going to the gym or cutting back on carbs,” Dorrinson said. “If it’s February and Jim Jordan still isn’t talking, then it’ll be time to get out the party hats.”
If one looks deeply, almost all major conflicts are about religion. The United States is headed for a conflict, which will be like Northern Ireland. Instead of Catholics and Protestants killing each other, it will be Democrats and Republican shooting and bombing. Of course, at the heart of the Republican drive to take over the country is Christianity, whose leaders want to return to the glory days of Salem. One small piece of evidence is the growth of the annual prayer breakfast, which has been gaining steam for years. Listen to those people and you can see the future of living in the country.
Sean Hannity Informs January 6th Panel that Swearing to Tell the Truth Would Violate His Contract with Fox
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Sean Hannity has informed the congressional committee investigating the U.S. Capitol insurrection that swearing to tell the truth would be a violation of his contract with Fox News.
In a written statement, Hannity said that taking an oath “to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” would be “a betrayal of the solemn vow I made to Fox.”
“The members of the committee would no doubt require me to swear on a Bible,” he said. “However, I answer to a higher power: Rupert Murdoch.”
The committee members attempted to reassure Hannity that he would need to tell the truth only to them and not while he was doing his show, but he remained steadfast in his refusal.
“Telling the truth is a deal breaker,” Hannity said. “If I am seen doing it even once, it could destroy my brand.”
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.