The advent of the internet delivered many benefits. As with all inventions, unintended consequences came included. People can order anything from anywhere and have it delivered one’s home. This benefits anyone stuck at home or not wanting to be seen in public….like crooks in hiding. In earlier days, criminals on the run could hide, but had to venture out for food. Not any more.
If anyone had lingering doubts about the politicisation of the judiciary, the games played by the judge in Florida to aid a crook should remove those. Even someone without a firm grasp of the obvious should recognise the corruption. She must have received a free meal at Mar a Lago and felt obligated to repay the debt to her master. This is not a judge; this is a puppet.
And how about the wife a Supreme Court clown claiming in public that the election was stolen? You know she tells the guy how to rule on cases, what Germans call a “ferngeleckte Unterrock”.
On the other side of the world, everyone should now recognise that the Russian military can kill unarmed women and children, but cannot succeed against the Ukrainian army. Russia can produce shows on the Red Square, but the battlefield is a disaster for incompetent animals.
Boebert Warns That Cancelling Student Debt Could Lead to Rampant Education
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Representative Lauren Boebert blasted President Biden’s student-loan-forgiveness program, claiming that it would lead to “rampant education.”
“This proposal is maybe the most reckless ever set forth by a President,” she said. “It will lead to rampant education and wonton [sic] learning.”
Attributing nefarious motives to the proposal, Boebert charged, “President Biden wants to educate as many people as possible, so they’ll become Democrats.”
Boebert described a nightmare scenario in which “everyday Americans start using words you’ll have to look up in the dictionary. I don’t want to live in an America like that.”
The Colorado lawmaker added that there needed to be “tougher controls” on college students’ purchase of books, including background checks and a ten-day cooling-off period.
How can you not be pessimistic?
We have a megalomaniac who can threaten nuclear war and everyone cowers.
We have a megalomaniac who can attempted to undermine democracy (while frauding everyone is sight) and everyone cowers.
We have Republican politicians doing everything they can to destroy the country as we know it.
We have fascists taking over Hungary and Italy, with sights set on destroying the European Union from within.
Where are the men and women with integrity and guts needed to help stupid voters from voting against their best interests?
Observations from skimming the Sunday headlines in German, British, and US newspapers:
Why can Russia invade and destroy Ukraine but Ukraine is prevented from attacking Russia?
The obsession with a guy named Harry and Meaghan Markle takes up too much space and too often. None and never would be best.
What is the obsession with former girlfriends of George Clooney, Leonardo di Capprio, Prince Harry, etc? Girls date these men a time or two and are forever doomed to be named in the gutter press.
Why can Republican politicians get away with breaking laws? Whether fraud, sexual molestation, human trafficking, etc., none end up in jail or are even charged. There is a saying about the rich becoming richer while the poor become poorer. A corollary for politicians would be Republicans go free, while Black men are shot.
The United Nations is worthless. A nation can commit a crime and then veto any censure measures.
Most countries in Europe have not forgotten World War II. This is an issue in the current Italian elections. Surprisingly, the Right is leading in the polls, which are descendants from the German allies.
Even after dying, the Queen gets a lot of ink. This must piss off her son, who waited decades to be the star of the show.
Melania Wishes She Could Get Divorced Just by Thinking About It
By Andy Borowitz
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—In a candid interview guaranteed to make headlines, Melania Trump revealed that she wished she could get a divorce “just by thinking about it.”
While stressing that she had no plans to divorce her husband, Mrs. Trump said that doing so would require “a lot more than having the idea in my head.”
“I think to get a divorce one would need lawyers, courts, those types of things,” she said. “To say you can undo something like a marriage just by thinking about it is some kind of crazy talk.”
At the conclusion of the interview, Mrs. Trump emphasized, once again, that she was happy in her marriage to Donald Trump. “I live in a beautiful home with all the nuclear codes a woman could want,” she said.
Nation Stunned to Learn Trump May Have Committed Fraud
By Andy Borowitz
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In an event that some commentators are calling the day the nation lost its innocence, millions of Americans were stunned to learn yesterday that Donald J. Trump may have committed fraud.
As news of the New York State attorney general’s fraud lawsuit against Trump spread like wildfire across the Internet, Americans expressed shock and incredulity that one of America’s most successful and respected businessmen might have violated his own high ethical standards.
“I’ve been walking around in a state of disbelief all day,” Harland Dorrinson, a barber in Cleveland, said. “He held our nation’s highest office and always conducted himself with such propriety. I hope to God these fraud charges are some kind of mixup.”
Carol Foyler, an insurance agent in Tampa, agreed. “How could he have gotten involved in such shady dealings?” she asked. “He’s a very smart man. For heaven’s sake, he even ran a university!”
Davis Logsdon, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesota, said that it will be important for parents to talk to children who have been traumatized by news of Trump’s legal imbroglio.
“Anecdotally, I’m hearing that kids are taking the news particularly hard,” he said. “They feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under them. If Donald Trump is capable of misleading people, who’s next—Dr. Oz?”
We already know the. guy is a crook. Now, he has proven to the world--except himself and his sycophants--that he is as dumb as a post. Saying a president can declassify secret documents in his mind is one thing, but the dummy believes it. He is bad enough, but anyone still clinging to his rear end admits to intellectual and character weakness. What a sad display the United States is putting on for the world to see....
Trump Demands Special Master Be Fired and Replaced with Extra-Special Master
By Andy Borowitz
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Infuriated by Judge Raymond Dearie’s requests for information in the Mar-a-Lago documents case, Donald J. Trump has demanded that the special master be fired and replaced with what he called “an extra-special master.”
“This Dearie, he’s a beauty, he really is,” Trump told reporters. “He’s asking for information. He’s asking for information like you wouldn’t believe. He’s a bad or sick guy.”
Pressed to explain what he meant by an “extra-special master,” Trump said, “We need somebody in there, somebody who’s more special than this Dearie joker. If Dearie is special, then I don’t know what special is.”
Claiming that Dearie is “rigged against me,” Trump said, “After that guy is fired and goes back to Antifa or wherever he came from, we’ve got to find out what idiot chose him in the first place. This should never be allowed to happen in our country.”
Today, television channels were clogged by a spectacle glorifying England’s plundering of the world. Many thought they were watching a long, drawn-out funeral, but the Brits were pretending that they are a meaningful nation. Some Hollywood productions are more credible.
One example was the silly games they play with uniforms. The chief beneficiaries of the plunder like to pretend that they are an essential part of the military. All have more than one uniform. All uniforms are decked out with medals. The British military has been involved in only two wars and only two of the family members got close. The decorations are all a sham and an insult to any military person actually earning a medal. Children and grandchildren of the dead lady marched in the parade, either in military uniform or forbidden to wear one. All pretend to have been in the military, but hardly any suffered duress. The four in uniform never neared a battlefield, except those long quiet. The two not in uniform did get near a real war, but surely were kept well away from harm (except photo opportunities.) The reason given for their lack of uniform was that they are no longer members of the military. I have a bridge to sell you if you believe the ones in uniform are actually functioning members of the military. If war were to come, the enemy would welcome them in leadership positions, which would block competent and talented soldiers from performing.
The British will continue to believe their national myth of greatness. All look forward to the next display when an old man gets a hat covered in jewels placed on his head in a church. They believe that is what their god wants. So be it…
Why is that people still believe the self-proclaimed “world’s greatest business genius” is even competent? Almost every venture, if not all ventures (except those financed by his father) have failed. People have lost fortunes at his expense. Stupid fools. And many still cling.
He is only successful when he buys weak, susceptible people….like accounting firms, judges and Republican politicians.
This just proves that the fate of humanity lies in the hands of stupid people…
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.