It's the time of month you've all been waiting for...
Once again, I remembered promising to make this a regular monthly feature.
For new readers, with enough time to waste on this tosh, I will repeat my earlier explanation of this post: Despite of my disdain for horoscopes, I do recognize the creative talent needed to write such nonsense. Several years ago, I received a copy of the definitive horoscope. I think this was written by some clever New York advertising copywriter or team of writers. It is definitely irreverent and ironical, but does contain a glimmer of truth (whatever that is). Each should be able to recognize one or the other personal trait or something irritating in someone you know. Horoscopes and alchemy are similar: each "science" tries to produce something of value from nothing. Alchemy has been debunked, but horoscopes continue to thrive. A clever use of words can manipulate the hopes and emotions of certain gullible people. (Where have we heard that before? It seems to be a common thread in thoughts about human beings.)
You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
I noticed a headline in some newspaper about NBC seeking a successor for Katie Couric and recalled an earlier strip by my favorite cartoonist.
For those of you that do not know Danae, she this interesting little girl has more than filled the footsteps of Eloise. Then again, her horizon ranges far beyond the Plaza Hotel and her field of interests is unbounded. Like any child, she is able to frustrate even the most-patient of fathers with her worldview and antics. This girl gets irony...
THE AUSTRALIAN WAY (But it works everywhere)
No matter what side of the political fence you're on, this is hilarious, tragic, and VERY telling about politicians' honesty! It all depends on how you look at the same facts and how creative a writer you are or can hire.
Judy Rudd, an amateur genealogy researcher in south east Queensland, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that ex-Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s great-great uncle, Remus Rudd, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Melbourne in 1889. Both Judy and Kevin Rudd share this common ancestor. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows at the Melbourne Gaol.
On the back of the picture, which Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:
'Remus Rudd horse thief, sent to Melbourne Gaol 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Melbourne-Geelong train six times. Caught by Victoria Police Force, convicted and hanged in 1889.'
Judy recently e-mailed ex-Prime Minister Rudd for information about their great-great uncle, Remus Rudd. Believe it or not, Kevin Rudd's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:
"Remus Rudd was famous in Victoria during the mid- to late-1800s. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Melbourne-Geelong Railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the Victoria Police Force. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honour when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."
Compare the two versions of the same biographical sketch. That’s how creative political whitewashing is done...
Back because I want to do it...another slide show.
This is a collection of flower arrangements and bouquets. Sometimes, a single stem is enough. I like flowers, but have traditional tastes in arranging. I don't like added garbage beyond a bit of green and the occasional angel mist (or whatever they call the delicate white stuff added to roses).
While we're on the subject of different religions, I will reprint something I found years ago (some may have seen its cruder version). Its irony reveals the ludicrousness of the entire subject...
TAOISM Stuff happens.
HINDUISM This stuff happened before.
CONFUCIANISM Confucius says: stuff happens.
BUDDHISM It is only an illusion of stuff happening.
ZEN What is the sound of stuff happening?
ISLAM If stuff happens, it is the will of Allah.
JEHOVAH'S Knock, knock: stuff happens.
ATHEISM There is no such thing as stuff.
AGNOSTICISM Maybe stuff happens, and maybe it doesn't.
PROTESTANTISM Stuff won't happen, if I work harder.
CATHOLICISM If stuff happens, I deserve it.
JUDAISM Why does stuff always happen to me?
TELEVANGELISM Send money, or stuff will happen to you.
Ever notice that the bible has no plot; the two parts have no connection. They are like chocolate and vanilla, the dark and light sides of the moon, Mars and Venus...you name your favorite dichotomy.
If you boil it down to the essential message of each section, the Old Testament says "believe in me", and the New Testament says: "do as I say". No wonder different religions pick and chose the message they want to exploit. The book has something for everyone to use against someone else.
Politicians do not have to beg for a pay raise or ever face a pay cut. Each year they vote for an increase in their own remuneration. Easy. I doubt that anyone has ever voted against such a measure. Discussion about budget cuts never mention politician salaries or benefits.
Politicians work for "the People", but their employer never gets a say in their remuneration. The employee never has to face the unpleasant task of being reviewed or having to ask the employer for a pay increase. This is a special racket. Of course, any politician can get voted out of office, but the next guy picks up the pay package and just keeps truckin'.
Unfortunate nurses, policemen, firemen, and teachers are at the mercy of these same "generous" hypocrites, who would rather cut salaries of necessary services than increase them. The system is stacked against the little guy, because the rules are made by those that benefit the most.
I am not a communist, socialist, anarchist, or any kind of -ist. I'm simply a cynic that believes in fairness and social justice. Of course, many confuse such sentiment with communism or socialism (most Americans do not know the difference). Fairness is not a word in a politician's vocabulary, unless he or she is talking about treatment of peers.
Everyone else seems to be using the guy's name in vain, so I'll get on the stick, jump on that bandwagon, and beat that dead horse.
It seems that this "gentleman" has become extremely popular with Fox News pundits, talk radio blowhards, and dodgy Republican politicians. His name is the default criticism of anyone that disagrees with their ridiculous positions or opinions on anything.
Of course, it's obvious from their rhetoric, that few have read any history or the man's biography. I doubt any could find Germany on a map or know that the man was Austrian. "Hitler" and "Nazi" are easy labels to hang on anything to incite a rapid crowd of bigger idiots with even less general knowledge.
What got me going on this topic? I read that Qaddafi has called the coalition forces "Nazis" and their political leaders "Hitler". This must be irony. He also has not read history. He's the one that has bombed his own people; Hitler bombed other nations, not his own. He was rather benevolent to his own citizens (except the Jews, of course), unlike Stalin, Saddam Husein, Mugabe, and Qaddafi, to name only a few.
I do not want to apologize for old Adolf, I merely want people to get their symbolism correct. I realize that blowhards in the US use Hitler, because he cannot sue them for slander. He is simple (for simple-minded speakers and listeners) shorthand for evil, even if his name has been degraded from over-use.
Hitler made one big mistake. He failed to brand his name, likeness, and symbols of power (best CI ever). He should have trademarked everything and licensed the whole lot to some US corporation. Since all the big ones (IBM, GM, Ford) were doing business with the German government throughout WWII, he had enough potential partners that understood the power of brands. Unfortunately, only idiots can reap value from his memory.
This is a follow-up to what I wrote yesterday, sparked by an item in the British press. It's great news for fans of royalty and meaningless uniform decorations.
The Queen (that nice old lady with several homes in the United Kingdom, although less real estate than her predecessors) "awarded" her son (nepotism, anyone?), the Duke of York (whatever that means) "the insignia of a Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian (the family firm) Order...before the two took tea together". How many weird elements can you find in that sentence?
For those that don't follow the English royal family (better than a soap opera with more scandals), which anyone reading a British newspaper cannot avoid, this is the prodigal son that hangs out with pedophiles and dictators. Of course, he shares a predilection for gaudy uniforms with the later. Wikileaks contained a rather flattering portrait of the man, as garnered from diplomatic cables.
Of course, this above award news is encouraging for the British economy. Such foolishness supports local uniform, medal, and sash makers, as well as providing new motifs for the dodgy and worthless souvenirs flogged throughout London
Another regular feature, brought back without popular demand...
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.