I noticed that the next debate will have microphones able to be silenced by the moderator or editor or someone with a brain. Such measures are needed to throttle an uncontrollable bully. He is already complaining about the process being “unfair”.
I predict that, if his microphone is silenced, he will walk off the stage.
Fauci Admits He Does Not Have Brain Like Trump’s
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Reacting to the President’s withering criticism of his intellect, Dr. Anthony Fauci admitted that he does not have a brain like Donald Trump’s.
“I have to say that he has a point,” Fauci said. “My brain could never come up with the things his brain comes up with.”
Having worked closely with Trump on the White House coronavirus task force, Fauci observed, “His brain is scary.”
“It’s much faster than mine,” the esteemed virologist added. “I need hours to look at facts and data before making a decision, but he makes decisions in seconds, without any information at all.”
While asserting that Trump’s gray matter “merits further study,” Fauci said that he has a theory for why the President’s brain is so much quicker than his.
“My brain is all clogged up with decades’ worth of epidemiology,” he said. “His just has ‘person, woman, man, camera, TV.’
I have not been a big fan of CNN over the years. Mostly because they spend so much time talking about themselves, one had difficulty getting any news.
Now, I have become a big fan. Not only because the Jerk-In-Chief has criticised them for covering the crisis in the United States that he has exacerbated through incompetence, arrogance, and hubris. CNN has become one of the heroes of this pandemic, with its tireless reporting, fact-checking, and providing useful, live-saving information. The piece today by Brianna Keilar was television news at its best, responding to their being attacked for covering the pandemic raging across the country.
Unfortunately, their excellent public service is probably not reaching the kind of people listening to Sinclair outlets, Fox, or rightwing talk radio.
Trump Accuses New Zealand’s Prime Minister of Competently Handling the Coronavirus to Get Reëlected
By Andy Borowitz
JANESVILLE, WI (The Borowitz Report)—Calling New Zealand’s Prime Minister “crooked and rigged,” Donald J. Trump accused Jacinda Ardern of competently handling the coronavirus pandemic in order to get reëlected.
Speaking at a rally in Wisconsin, Trump called Ardern’s use of public-health measures to mitigate the impact of the coronavirus on her nation “a sleazy political move like you wouldn’t believe.”
“This woman wanted to get reëlected, so she decided to go after the coronavirus and beat it,” he said. “This woman is a disgrace.”
Ramping up his attack on Ardern, Trump accused her of securing her election victory by “listening to scientists.”
“She was talking to scientists every day,” Trump charged. “It’s all going to come out when we see her e-mails.”
In a final denunciation of Ardern’s successful handling of the pandemic, Trump vowed, “You’ll never see me pulling something like that.
If you want to judge a person, consider how he or she the acts and talks. Take for example, a US senator, a man full of himself, he cannot see what a jerk he really is. He makes fun off a colleague’s name, pretending not to know how to pronounce it. What does that tell you about his character? Perhaps he trying to score points with the worst-of-all-characters to hold public office.
I wonder if such behaviour is taught i some secret Republican playbook, since Republicans tend to be the only ones—mostly white men—who act this way. No other party has people yelling “lock ‘em up”, when talking about political opponents.
One man's temper is surely raging in the Land of the Unfree and the Home of Tax Dodger: the self-proclaimed biggest “winner” lost again. No one looks at ratings or crowd sizes more than the biggest ego in the land, so surely having had a smaller viewing audience in a head-on-head battle must grate.
Humiliation is not a color worn well by a narcissist and egomaniac. The only color suiting him would be orange.
NBC Cancels Reboot of “The Apprentice” After One Episode
By Andy Borowitz
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In one of the more embarrassing television fiascos in recent memory, NBC has announced that it will cancel its reboot of “The Apprentice” after only one episode.
The reboot, which attempted to revive the flagging career of its star, was widely panned by critics and audience members, who seemed baffled by the network’s decision to air it in the first place.
Even more puzzling, the producers of the “Apprentice” reboot tinkered with the original’s winning format, transforming its star from a successful, nearly omniscient business mogul to a hapless incompetent beset by failure.
While a press release from NBC indicated that the network would be scheduling “no further episodes” of the reboot, a permanent cancellation could come on November 3rd, insiders say
The biggest jerk in the world said recently that, in the event of losing the election, he will leave the country. Of course he will: he must avoid being indicted for numerous crimes. He will surely land in some Arab kingdom, where he will be treated like a king…and avoid extradition.
Maybe that’s why he’s calling for others to be “locked up”, because he wants to deflect attention from his guilt.
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.