Only with foolish royalty can a funeral turn into an entertainment circus. All the tabloid headlines of previous days, weeks, and months are replayed and built into media coverage of the days leading up to the ‘event’ and will surely be jam-packed on the day of the funeral. Speculation is rife about who will be honoured with an invitation and who will stand next to whom. With all the problems in the world, why should anyone care about such foolishness. I have always said that the ones who remain after someones death suffer the most. The guy is resting peacefully, because he is the only spared the nonsense surrounding his funeral.
Biden Tells Putin He Must Return His Oval Office Keys
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a phone conversation that the White House characterized as “frank,” President Biden told the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, that he had to return his Oval Office keys.
Putin, who reportedly has had the keys since 2017, was taken aback by Biden’s demand, sources said.
“Look, pal, if you want to have a summit meeting, you’re gonna have to give back the keys,” Biden reportedly told the Russian. “Those are the rules of the road.”
Despite Putin’s response, which was described as “frosty,” sources indicated that Biden refused to give ground.
“Don’t get all mopey now, champ,” Biden said. “You had a good run.”
Yesterday, I flew from Germany to Miami. The flight was very pleasant and the airport experience, due to lack of other people, was even tolerable. I was happy to not have to stand in line once. There were even eight inspectors waiting to check my party of three at security control.
Because of travel restrictions on Europeans, the plane was less than half full. We expected to breeze through immigration and customs. Arriving at immigration, we found a few people waiting, so there was a line. Once in line, however, we noticed little movement. Only two of the many booths were open. As always, there seemed to be no sense of urgency.
On the way to immigration, we had noticed through the window an Aeroflot plane pulling up to the gate. We increased our pace, even though we knew we would get there first. And, we were certain that the plane would also have few passengers.
As we waited in line, we turned to see the masses of Russian passengers storm into the immigration hall. With only two officers, those folks would be there for awhile. We guessed that Russia was treated differently than Europeans, in terms of virus restrictions.
Life is different and very confusing. One does not know all the rules and regulations, as well as having difficulty keeping up with the changes. In Florida, one sees little evidence of the pandemic which has raged/is raging around the world. Some businesses require masks and some people even wear them on the street, although not required. Many restaurants are full, although some only have outdoor seating. One enjoys life the best one can, but is happy for warmer weather and less fear than in Germany.
I was born in Boston and grew up in a town nearby. Over the years, I drove, rode, or flew into the city on various forms of transportation. Even arriving by air, one sees the city from an almost horizontal point of view.
Yesterday, I saw Boston and surroundings from above in an airplane traveling at 40,000 feet. The view was surprising, even though I have seen map views. One notices why the city grew at this site, starting with being used by early travellers as a harbor and how close Cape Cod/Provincetown is/are. Anyone interested in geography can understand my interest in such unusual perspectives
I have long had my doubts about the intelligence of some police officers. (When I was eight, I was knocked off my bike by an inattentive officer. I recall going to the police station with my father to accept his apology, which was surely provided in lieu of charges being filed.)
Anyway, there are enough jokes about guys with badges and guns, who have little or poor education. And, it seems that all the white ones learn is how to harass and kill Black folks. That said, one has to wonder how a trained officer cannot tell the difference between a pistol and a taser. Is it selection criteria, training standards, or lack of discipline?
City of Atlanta Pulls Out of Georgia
By Andy Borowitz
ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest blow to Governor Brian Kemp, the city of Atlanta announced that it would be leaving the state of Georgia to protest its discriminatory new voting law.
In a press conference on Monday, Atlanta revealed that it will be relocating its sports teams, hospitality industry, and entire 136.8 square miles of land to another state yet to be determined.
Kemp attempted to put a brave face on the situation, even though the departure of the state capital means that he no longer has an office in the state that he governs.
“If Atlanta thinks I can’t get the business of Georgia done without it, then Atlanta is gravely mistaken,” Kemp, speaking from his room at the Quality Inn in Jesup, said.
News of Atlanta’s decision touched off a bidding frenzy among states eager to host it, but the city indicated that it was only interested in moving to a state that makes it easy for its citizens to vote.
“We’re taking offers from Oregon and Washington State very seriously,” Atlanta said. “We let the call from Texas go straight to voice mail.”
Headlines in British newspapers claim that everyone in Great Britain is mourning the death of some old guy, who was ofter seen in public wearing a variety of uniforms with a multitude of medals and drawings. Of course, this guy was in a cushy job in the military during WW2 and never served again, so perhaps he found the medals in cereal boxes.
Any death is sad for someone, so one can have sympathy for his family. But, not all are mourning. Below is something written by an English friend:
“No one ever mentions that his sisters all married high ranking Nazis. Although The Telegraph obit did say that one sister came to a funeral/ ceremony in the UK with her husband who wore full SS uniform and greeted people with 'Heil Hitler' with the arm-raised salute. They also don't mention that the King who abdicated was all in favour of doing a deal with Hitler because he was rightly scared of what the Bolsheviks would do to him and his layabout family if they defeated Germany and took over Europe. This fear was in fact part guilt bought on by the fact that The Romanoffs,The Tsar,Tsarina and all their children begged their Royal cousins in the British Royal family to grant them passage to safety. The British Royals, being weak, in-bred, slugs, refused and the Russian Royalty were 'rubbed out' in a forest outside St Petersburg. Philip was a classic do anything for the 'idea' of monarchy, as it was all he had; several different 'royal' bloods coursing through his veins. He ran the whole thing with the security service - and was definitely responsible for the 'rubbing out' of Diana - the one person he couldn't threaten into acquiescence. A nasty piece of work. And racist to the core.”
Only the fact that a pandemic is raging saves the world from a televised overblown spectacle of a funeral.
The hypocrites camped out in the Supreme Court, who love to tout their grasp of the Constitution, do not seem to have noticed the bit about separation of church and state.
Truly...not just Valley Girl airhead rhetoric.
Not enough attention is paid to the amazing feats of the space program. Too much time is spent on politics, mass shootings, sex scandals, loud-mouthed and lying pundits, innate television programs, etc.
The space program is the best of the US. Perhaps, it is ignored because it is not about making money for some hedge fund. Or because there are not enough people intelligent enough to understand what has been accomplished. Too much computer generated scenes make believe that anything is possible. They are unable to grasp how difficult it is to conceive, construct, and deliver a piece of technology to another planet.
It might be too early to celebrate, but there seems to be a glimmer of hope that some—unfortunately, only some—of the Republican creeps will be held accountable for their atrocious and illegal behaviour
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.