TRUMP TO STEP AWAY FROM MAKING HIS BUSINESSES BANKRUPT TO FOCUS ON BANKRUPTING COUNTRY
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President-elect Donald J. Trump will no longer have day-to-day responsibility for driving his businesses into bankruptcy and will instead focus on bankrupting the country, one of his leading surrogates said on Wednesday.
Appearing on Fox News, Kellyanne Conway said that while Trump no doubt could “plunge both his businesses and the country into bankruptcy at the same time,” he feels that he “owes it to the American people to put them first.”
Acknowledging that Trump has no government experience, Conway said that his years of bankrupting a variety of companies would prove “invaluable” as he does the same to the United States.
“It’s going to surprise a lot of people when they see how great he is at this,” she said.
On a related matter, Conway said that Trump would allow professional managers to oversee his fraudulent enterprises, like the now defunct Trump University, so that he can concentrate on defrauding the entire country.
“There is a big difference between conning a few thousand students at a phony university and swindling a nation of more than three hundred million people,” she said. “Mr. Trump is well aware that this is going to be a full-time job.”
While we’re on the subject of sore throats…
…which can be like gum stuck on a shoe sole, only more painful.
My tonsils were removed at a young age. I know this happened, because I can remember sitting on the sofa in the living room and being served ice cream. This was unusual and memorable, because it was outside meal time.
In later life, I have heard—but not always believed—that tonsil removal leads to susceptibility to throat infections. A simple statistic of one tends to give this credibility.
Another memory of throat ailments does not concern me…fortunately. When I was at private school, sick kids were interned in the infirmary on campus, where a nice old lady took care of them. One of the torture methods was to paint the throat with iodine. I heard that this was not pleasant, so was happy to not have suffered from medication worse than the ailment. This suggests that my private schools days were without illness.
Although I have suffered through many throat infections, the most memorable were in Hong Kong. I recall lying awake, suffering from the pain and jet lag with nothing to ease my plight. All I had was peppermint oil, which some inhale to open sinuses. I would put a few drops on my hand and suck on it. This burned like hell, which I assumed was like painting with iodine. I do not know if it sped up the process, but the pain suggested the possibility of improvement. I am sure that time offered the ultimate curing effect.
Now, I know that antibiotics works best...if you find the right one.
TRUMP PICKS EL CHAPO TO RUN D.E.A.
By Andy Borowitz
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)
Just days after picking Betsy DeVos to run the Department of Education, President-elect Donald Trump has tapped another wealthy outsider by naming Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán to head the Drug Enforcement Administration.
In an official statement, Trump said that El Chapo’s “tremendous success in the private sector” showed that he has what it takes to “shake things up” at the D.E.A.
Trump’s appointment of the former drug lord surprised many in Washington, in no small part because acrimony between the two allegedly prompted El Chapo, in 2015, to put a hundred-million-dollar bounty on Trump’s head.
But, appearing on CNN, the Trump surrogate Kellyanne Conway said that the selection of El Chapo should surprise no one. “Mr. Trump always said that he would surround himself with the best people,” she said.
When asked why Trump had readily offered a job to El Chapo while still mulling the fate of another former adversary, Mitt Romney, Conway said, “El Chapo might not have voted for Mr. Trump, but that’s because he’s Mexican and in jail, and Mitt Romney is neither.”
The appointment of the former drug kingpin is far from a done deal, however, as associates of El Chapo report that he is “concerned” that being a member of the Trump Administration would be bad for his brand.
I should have learned by now, after so many bad experiences, that I should not watch the movie adaptation of a novel I enjoyed. This seems to be especially true with John le Carre novels.
Having time to kill, and needing a break from Tolstoy, I decided to check out the film version of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. BBC had done a adaption for television, with Alec Guinness, which was (almost) the exception to the rule. The longer time length helped, but also the sensitive handling of the plot.
The first issue popped up within the first minutes. In the novel, a key action takes place in Czechoslovakia (as the country was called back then). For some unimaginable reason, the film action takes place in Budapest. Sure Hungary—Czechoslovakia: what’s the big difference? And, the action is on a city street and not in the forest. Why?
The second thing I noticed was the pace. The film is very plodding; there are too many short scenes inserted, which are impossible to understand. Too artsy craftsy. Anyone not familiar with the book might become confused…or bored.
But, on a positive note (unusual, I know) the acting was excellent. It’s not their fault that the script or editing was poor.
I have a cold.
Not that anyone cares. nor should you. The only ones suffering more are those whose lives I make miserable) I have no patience for disability.
Anyway, colds and sore throats (which are related) have been a feature of my life. I was familiar with the “latest medical findings” before they were the latest medical findings.
Colds are easy to understand (but, less easy to endure). One picks up a bug, which latches itself to the throat. An unpleasant sore throat ensues. Next, everything moves up the sinuses with a combination of running nose, sneezing, and stuffed sinuses. Medicine does not help much, although an antibiotic can relieve the pain of the sore throat.
I recall visiting the hospital late one nigh at Fort Knox, Kentucky. I was suffering from a painful sore throat, but had to complete the session of nighttime tank gunnery. Neither the firing range nor the hospital was much fun. I also recall suffering long, sleepless nights in Hong Kong, caused by an unholy mix of jet lag and throat infection.
The only way to prevent a cold from spreading is to nip it in the bud, i.e.. in the incipient stage in the throat. I have found only one method that worked, which is no longer available. There was a product sold in the United States by the name of Cepacol (different from what you can buy now, so they must have been forced to change the formula. Another product with a similar name--Chloraceptic—was worthless. They two had different active ingredients, only one of which was able to prevent throat infections from spreading. Since this product is no longer available, I have been forced to suffer from colds.
Just when respect for Americans had reached an unimagined nadir, a National Geographic program on NASA reminded anyone watching of something admirable. The program showed the history of the Mars explorer mission and provided heartening reminders of greatness. The only downside is that this reminded me of my limited intelligence and the potential of humans.
I did have one thought while watching these remarkable individuals performing daunting tasks. This was a group of men and women working day and night for years to solve unimaginable problems in the quest to achieve success for the organisation, the country, and humanity. Most of this work was performed in California, not far from the riches of Silicon Valley. Most, if not all, of these people are probably on government pay scale. This is contrasted with the men and women playing in the financial industry—hedge fund managers, private equity managers, investment bankers, etc.—who earn obscene amounts of money doing nothing of value for anyone else. They use computers to move bits of information from one account to another, making money from nothing.
Unfortunately, the intelligent, dedicated, hard-working scientists and engineers are seen as dummies by too many…
Slim pickings this year, but we should all be able to find something. No matter how insignificant.
I am sure that a bunch of turkeys will realise someday that their goose has been cooked.
I keep reading about “fake news”. I do not know what that is, but what I imagine it to be and the consequences sound scary. During the Cold War, we learned about the use of propaganda in the Soviet Union to influence thought. George Orwell’s 1984 provides a chilling look at how people can be manipulated by false information. I see no difference in what is happening in the United States and, perhaps, in other democracies.
Military planners know what a pain in the neck a river can be to offensive operations. Bridges help, but are usually the fist thing destroyed by retreating enemies. Think how much longer World War 2 would have been if the Germans had managed to blow up the bridge at Remagen.
Anyway, I though about this as a waited for a ferry to cross the Main River. The other side seems to be a mere stone's throw, but there is enough water to screw up traffic.
I usually use the bridges, either upstream or downstream, that cross the river between Hanau and Frankfurt, but needed to visit a shop near the ferry crossing.
The trip costs 1 euro and takes about--I'm guessing--one minute. You drive on and drive off. As you can see in the first photo, there is no barrier; if you forget to brake, you end up in the drink.
The trip is easy, short, and relaxing. This is far better than waiting at the numerous traffic lights feature on the alternative routes. Not visible is the cable on a pulley, which keeps the ferry from drifting down stream in the rather strong current.
Another good movie: Despite The Falling Snow
The story was compelling, the acting excellent, and the cinematography did a wonderful job with the setting. Having been to Moscow, I found the scenes very well done.
Sadly, this was not a box office success. The lead actress was also in Mission Impossible, which lacked the credibility this moves enjoys, but sold tickets. Once again, we see that there are more people with little or shallow tastes. Stupid actions trumps deep, evocative drama.
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.