Pence Walks Out of “Hamilton” Again in Own Living Room
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Mike Pence’s turbulent relationship with “Hamilton” continued over the weekend, as he walked out of the Broadway show in his own living room.
Pence, who walked out after the Tony Award–winning musical in 2016, when the cast tried to address him, told reporters that he tuned in to the streaming version of “Hamilton” on July 4th specifically to walk out of it once more.
“I wanted to send the cast of ‘Hamilton’ a strong message,” Pence said. “The minute it began, I turned to my wife and said, ‘Karen, I’m out.’ ”
He immediately followed through on his threat, leaving Mrs. Pence alone in their living room for the next two and a half hours as she watched “Hamilton” in its entirety.
Pence dismissed reporters’ questions about the limited impact of his gesture, since the cast of “Hamilton” was unable to see him get up from his couch and leave in a huff.
“President Trump told me to walk out of my living room, and I am grateful for the opportunity to obey him,” Pence said, adding that he intends to walk out of “Hamilton” again tonight.
I just watched Hamilton, the recording of the Broadway show on Disney. I had heard a great deal about this show, but knew little more than that the text was done in rap. Loathing rap, I was reluctant to watch, but am glad I did.
The dialogue and songs are very creative. The writing is excellent (despite being rap). The energy of the show is amazing, almost unprecedented. The cast is outstanding. My favorite character was King George.
I understand now why there has been some backlash from the white supremicists: with one exception, the cast is Black. As all characters are based upon historical figures of great fame, their reactions is understandable. These are not the kind of people that appreciate or even understand creative license. And, none are happy about seeing an immigrant as the hero and too many references to slavery.
Well worth seeing. An excellent musical.
No Readin’, No Ritin’, No Idea
India: Third world country, about 1 billion population, 22,000 infections.
USA: God’s Chosen Land, about 300 million population, 52,000 infections.
On Saturday, Florida had 12,440 infections…more than half of India.
You do the math.
Someone having difficulty with simple math is the conman currently “destroying America”. He stated emphatically—not in jest—that 99% of the Covid 19 infections were harmless. A mere glance at the statistics reveals that the US has suffered almost 133,000 deaths from about almost 3 million. I wonder if those people thought it harmless as they died or if their grieving relatives and friends agree with the jerk. And, that number does not include those suffering from lingering effects of the virus, for which there is no statistic. And, obviously, no sympathy…
Putin Considering Not Running Trump for Reëlection
By Andy Borowitz
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Faced with “deeply discouraging” 2020 polls, Vladimir Putin is “seriously considering” not running Donald J. Trump for reëlection, according to Kremlin sources.
The Russian President had been holding out hope that Trump could somehow stop his precipitous slide in popularity, but a recent roundup of polls showing Joe Biden crushing him in several battleground states made Putin realize that “his guy is a lost cause,” one source said.
“Putin has been talking about not running Trump for reëlection for months now, but it looks like he’s finally ready to pull the rip cord,” the source added.
According to Kremlin insiders, Putin is actively mulling a number of possible Republican replacements for Trump, including Representative Devin Nunes, Senator Mitch McConnell, and Senator Rand Paul, but he does not relish the idea of making the switch.
“You have to understand, Putin has spent years training Trump to be so obedient,” the source said. “It’s going to be hard breaking in a new one.”
Hurrah. U—S—A. Number One. Great. Even Great Again. Even better than Brazil. Keeping America First. Only the US could achieve a new record in virus infection. That took a real effort in incompetence and bungling/lack of leadership. This is a big “deal”. Which is what the conman promised--deals and more deals. He delivered on this one and is surely proud of his—yes, his—achievement.
He surely wants more, because that is what will come with July 4th celebrations. He wants to go down in history as the best. The problem is that “best” means illness and death for the citizens for which he does not care.
Trump May Not Have Read Brief Because He Holds Reading Material Upside Down
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump may not have read a Presidential Daily Brief on the Russian bounty scheme because he holds reading material upside down, experts suggested on Wednesday.
After studying photographic evidence of Trump holding a book in that difficult-to-read position, Davis Logsdon, who studies literacy at the University of Minnesota, said that such a practice could have impeded the President’s ability to process information on his desk.
“If Trump is holding all of his Presidential Daily Briefs upside down, what is intended to be important intelligence requiring his urgent attention might, to him, appear to be little more than meaningless marks on a piece of paper,” Logsdon said.
Within minutes of the release of Logsdon’s comments, the White House scrambled to institute new procedures to insure that Trump’s Presidential Daily Briefs are placed right-side up on his Oval Office desk.
Reportedly, Jared Kushner will be tasked with entering Trump’s office first thing every morning and rotating all of the papers on his desk until they are in the optimal position for reading.
Some White House sources, however, expressed skepticism about the new protocol. “It relies on Jared knowing when reading material is upside down,” one source said.
Call me old-fashioned, call me intolerant, call me anything you like: I hate—a word I do not like to use, because it is a wasted emotion—anyone that sticks pieces of metal in his or her face. I am so repulsed by someone serving me in a shop or a restaurant, that I leave and seek a different location. And, beside being repulsed, I do not understand why anyone can be so stupid and self-destructive.
Many like to criticise the French for being stubborn. This has one advantage for the citizens of France, when it comes to food. With all the “advances” in agriculture—genetically manipulated foodstuffs, chemical fertilizers, mechanical harvesting, etc.—France has maintained many of the old ways of food production. Not 100%, but enough so that one can find great food throughout the country and in some export markets. Only stupid people do not pay attention to food quality or ingredients. Of course, if you buy fresh products, the main ingredient is in your hands. No one has to worry about packaging gobbledygook.
Food is a major ingredient of one’s quality of life. French people understand this better than most.
Taliban Brief Because He Was Busy Not Reading Coronavirus Brief
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump did not read a Presidential Daily Brief about Russia paying Taliban militants to attack U.S. troops because he was busy not reading a Presidential Daily Brief about the coronavirus, the White House said on Monday.
Kayleigh McEnany, the White House press secretary, angrily accused reporters of being “totally unaware” of just how much Trump has to not read in a given day.
“Day in, day out, the President has to ignore briefs on a wide range of subjects,” McEnany said. “His ‘Do Not Read’ box is overflowing.”
“I’d like to see any of you try to not read all of that stuff,” she said. “It isn’t easy, especially when the briefs have words like ‘urgent’ and ‘must read’ stamped in big red letters on them.”
After lashing out at the press, McEnany saved her most blistering remarks for the authors of the Presidential Daily Briefs themselves. “Anyone who expects this President to find out something important by reading does not know Donald Trump,” she said.
The Virus known as Corona or Covid 19 has no mercy and plays no favorites. There are few protections, but some do exist. The problem is that one must know them, believe in them, and have the self-discipline to use them. One can take from the media each who does and who doesn’t.
The bigger problem is human stupidity. This is on display in many countries, where the leaders are uncaring idiots. Even in countries where leaders are better, the virus has made an impact. The level of impact has to do with preparation, good policy, and discipline.
I am happy to live in Germany. There are few, if any, better countries.
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.