Trump Urges Americans to Boycott Chinese Goods and Just Buy Things at Walmart
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Asking for their solidarity in his trade war with China, Donald Trump is urging Americans to boycott Chinese goods and “just buy things at Walmart.”
Trump made his request via Twitter, where he told his fellow-citizens that it was their “patriotic duty” to punish China by buying as many goods at Walmart as possible.
“If you go to a great american store like Walmart, you’ll find lots of cheap sportswear, shoes, and other items for you and your family to enjoy,” he tweeted. “What better way to show China that we don’t need their dumb stuff!”
Shortly after Trump sent those marching orders to his countrymen, the Chinese President, Xi Jinping, offered a muted response. “I’m beginning to see how he lost a billion dollars,” Xi said.
Nb. Of course, most people that voted for the clown will not get this!
Happy Mother's Day to all the those women who deserve recognition on more than one day a year...
If you want to understand the term “production values”, as applied to film-making, then simply watch the movie “The Lover”. This was based upon the novel by the French writer, Marguerite Duras, and produced released in 1992. This film also provides an excellent view into the life and mores of Vietnam prior to World War 2. The cinematography is outstanding.
With all the talk about climate change, carbon capture, and other aspects of life on this planet that most humans do not understand or think important, no one has attacked Formula 1 racing.
Think about it. Drive fast cars endlessly in circles (not just the race, but all the practice and qualification rounds)--with one car winning by a thousandth of a second--and then move the whole show to another city on the other side of the planet. Load everything on airplanes: cars, people, and equipment. Mix, shake, and repeat all year.
And, for what purpose? Advertising? Tickling the fancy of a few car freaks? Making money? This is fiddling while the world burns…
I don’t like ugly, and 95% of inked skin is ugly.
So, I have a question: what will people with tattoos do once painting skin is no longer cool? Some can be covered up with clothing, but many can be concealed only by hiding in a dark room. How will they handle the scorn, ridicule, and rejection?
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
Is it any surprise that the self-proclaimed “world’s greatest winner” is a loser? Many suspected that his claims of business acumen were false, given how many of his businesses failed and how many suppliers he cheated. Turns out the only thing he was “big” at was losing money, with bigger reported losses than any other tax payer. Given how readily the fraudster lies (the guy must wear asbestos underwear), his response to the revelations in his tax returns should be entertaining.
Now we know why he is stirring up war with Iran. There’s a movie just like this in which a president starts a war to deflect scrutiny and criticism. Americans are too stupid to attack a president, especially one waging war, no matter how idiotic the war.
Just read where the crook claims avoiding taxes was a “joke”. How’s that for the “leader” of a nation setting an example? And, since when is cheating on taxes the sign of a successful businessman and negotiator?
If you call a fraud a hero, it’s still a fraud. Don’t believe me: read this…
Trump Furious That Another Baby Is Getting All The Attention
By Andy BorowitzWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Donald J. Trump is reportedly “seething with envy” and “furious” that another baby is suddenly getting all the attention, White House aides have confirmed.
The aides, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that Trump was “beside himself” after watching cable news cover a baby other than himself all Monday morning.
“He can’t understand why they are suddenly obsessed with this baby,” one aide said. “He thinks he should be the only baby that people are thinking about, and this new baby is driving him nuts.”
According to the aide, Trump even threatened to slap new tariffs on China in the hopes of stealing attention away from the baby, but to no avail.
“Honestly, I feel bad for him,” the aide said. “He’s used to being the youngest person, and now there’s someone younger.”
There is a whole bunch of folks with really sad lives. This is obvious from the number of people interested in some kid being born in England to posh and worthless parents. Not only the stupid English with their hang-up about a privileged family of rich entitled simpletons living off their nation’s tax money, but all those foolish ones around the world tuned into the news.
There are many things that I do not understand about life on this planet, but one aspect of human practice at or near the top of the list is fascination with aristocrats and unelected, hereditary leaders.
Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.