Is it any wonder that guys hate Christmas?
The main reason is strings of colored lights, which women demand be strung up in trees, on the house, around windows, etc. Even new ones can be exasperating.
Someone gave my wife a string of gaudy lights from England. I say gaudy, because each bulb is dressed up in a fluffy white angel. Of course, she did not notice that the plug was wrong for Germany. (I won't get into the reason for different plugs in each country, because that would require disparaging the English...and their prime minister has stepped in it enough recently, as far as Europeans are concerned).
Back to the lights. Being not completely untalented, I changed the plug to a German one. I stuck it in the socket and it worked fine...except one bulb was not shining as brightly as the star of Bethlehem. Fortunately, there were two extra bulbs. So, being not completely untalented, I switched bulbs. Once again, I plugged it in. It did not work...not a single bulb burned in the night to bring us goodness and light. So, still not being completely untalented, I used the second bulb. Once again, I plugged it in. Not a single angel burst forth with light. So, not being totally illogical, I returned everything to the original (what should have been the default setting, because the chain had worked with the exception of one bulb). I plugged it in and...
I gave up.
I will hang it up, and the angels will have to do their stuff without the benefit of lighted accompaniment. We will save electricity. And, I cannot promise that this light chain will not end up in the trash...
Happy Hanging Holiday Decorations.
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Prior to writing novels, the author enjoyed a multifaceted career: from decorated combat aviator to advertising professional to global communications director of a major consumer brand. He has traveled the world and met sports, film and television stars, political leaders, and royalty. He graduated from Middlebury College, is married, lives in Germany, and has two grown children.